How You Can Use Scripture to Help Your Child Get Over 3 Types of Heartbreak

Dolores Smyth

The End of a Friendship

You’ll never forget the first time your child eagerly rushes into a birthday party or playdate toward her friends and bursts into a flurry of instant chatter. The bonds of friendship are more than simply an enjoyable way to pass the time. In fact, friendships play a significant role in our children’s lives.

Your children may form friendships that last a lifetime but most of their friendships will be transitory. Whether a friendship ends because of an argument, a change in behavior, or a move, friendship “breakups” can leave kids feeling betrayed and lonely.

During these moments of despair over a lost friendship, it’s important to sympathize with your child and reassure her that God has great things planned, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Parents can also help their children put the friendship loss in perspective by assuring their kids that “this too shall pass” and once it does, God “will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10).

The Death of a Loved One

The passing of a loved one—whether a relative, friend, or family pet—can be crushing to children. How the child reacts can depend on his age and how close the child was to the deceased. Some children react with questions and confusion about the concept of death, while others react with grief, worry, or sometimes even anger.

 It’s important for parents to give children time to mourn and talk about (or not talk about) the deceased in their own way and at their own pace.

In looking to Scripture, parents can help ease their children’s grief over a death by pointing out that Jesus himself said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). Further consolation to children is God’s promise that, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” (Revelation 21:4).

The Disappointment of Dashed Dreams

Whether it’s getting straight A’s, making the basketball team, asking out a crush, or getting into a college of choice, our children’s dreams and goals are as numbered as the stars. When these hopes get dashed, however, our kids can undergo much heartache and start viewing the pursuit of their other goals with a deflated spirit.

When setbacks throw a monkey wrench into your child’s plans in spite of her best efforts, lessen your kid’s discouragement by telling her that God wants us to trust in him with all our heart and lean on him, not on our own understanding. If we do so consistently, God promises to make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). If the obstacles get even tougher, boost him/her perseverance by showing him/her in the Bible that the Lord calls “blessed” those who persevere under trial “because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). Soothing our children’s hurt feelings with God’s Word allows God to grant our children everything we, as parents, could ever hope for them.