Keren Kanyago
1. Seek God First
A healthy spiritual walk with God for each partner is the foundation of a great marriage. When both partners strive to seek God and live in submission to His ordinances, a lot of turmoil and marital issues are subsequently nipped in the bud. For instance, the couple may never have to deal with thorny issues like infidelity because they are both well aware that God outrightly forbids it. The Bible urges us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. As a result, all other things shall be added unto us. (Mathew 6:33).
If you want a great marriage, ensure both of you are staying connected to God. This way, you are building on a firm foundation.
2. Seek to Fulfill Each Other’s Needs
You don’t have to be married for long to discover that your needs are different from your spouse’s. In the book, His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Harley, Jr. notes that the integral needs of a wife are affection, intimate conversation, honesty, financial support, and family commitment. On the other hand, he says that the key needs of a man are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attraction, domestic support, and admiration (from his wife).
God wants us to prioritize our spouse’s needs above ours. Marriage is about serving your spouse. We are not to look to our own interests but to the interest of others (Philippians 2:4).
3. Prioritize Sexual Intimacy
Sex is a critical ingredient in a marriage. It helps enhance a deep emotional connection with your spouse. It also helps couples forgive each other easily and helps ward off sexual temptation. Furthermore, sex acts as a sacred seal in the marriage covenant. When a man and woman engage in sex, they become united in the body. (1 Corinthians 6:16). The role of sex in a marriage can therefore not be downplayed.
. For a healthy sex life, the husband should ensure he meets his wife’s emotional needs, making it easier for her to meet his sexual needs.
4. Regulate Screen Time
Nothing is more off-putting than trying to catch the attention of your spouse who is scrolling through their news feed. It communicates utter disrespect. You interpret it to mean that their social media interactions are more important to them than you. Screens have invaded our homes, and many couples are now addicted to them. Unfortunately, each spouse gets absorbed into their own world with little to no communication going on. This causes couples to drift apart and stifles intimacy. As a couple, you need to formulate rules where screens are concerned in order to slay this giant. Here are a few suggestions:
· Put the screen down whenever your spouse is talking to you
· Dedicate some time each day to connect with your spouse without screens
· Agree that some rooms will be screen-free, e.g. the kitchen and bedroom
· Agree that screens will be turned off at a particular time, e.g. an hour before bedtime
5. Carve out Time to Connect Weekly
Great marriages don’t just happen; they are made to happen. If you leave your marriage alone, doing nothing to nurture your relationship, you will drift apart in no time. You need to sustain intimacy and connection by spending time together regularly. Relationship experts recommend that you dedicate daily and weekly time to dating your spouse.
Connecting regularly also helps give familiarity the boot, enhances communication, and bolsters commitment to the marriage. You may opt for weekly date nights, lunch dates, picnics, walks, and movies. Whatever you do, keep dating your spouse.
