Jennifer Waddle
. Spend One-On-One Time with Them Every Day
Now, I already know what you’re thinking. There’s not enough time or energy in the day to spend one-on-one time with each child. I get it. From the early morning hustle to bedtime routines, most of us struggle to get dinner on the table, let alone spend individual time with our children. However, it doesn’t take much effort to single out each child for some quality one-on-one time.
I still remember one night when I was tucking my second-born son into bed. He was the quiet one who always seemed to fly under the radar. Earlier in the day, I’d bought a notebook with his favorite cartoon character on the front. With a sharpie, I’d written “Bedtime Notebook” at the top. I hid it under his mattress, so I could surprise him when I tucked him in.
That simple notebook became a fun evening ritual for us. In it, we drew pictures, wrote funny stories, played word games, and most importantly, connected. He is almost 30 years old now and still remembers that bedtime notebook.
Even a few minutes before bed can make all the difference in helping each of your children feel seen and loved.
Offer to Help Them, Not Fix Them
When our kids are struggling, it’s easy to do one of two things: Try to fix it or ignore it. Neither of these is a good option in helping our children feel seen and understood.
Instead, why not offer to help them find a solution? For example:
If they’re struggling in school, offer to be their “study buddy.”
If they’re feeling down, suggest going outside, getting a healthy snack, or dancing in the living room.
Most of the time, our children aren’t asking us to fix things; they just want us to listen and point them in the right direction. Doing this lets them know they can depend on you for help without being overbearing. This is a good way to be aware of their struggles without feeling the need to fix everything.
3. Empathize with Them, Even When You Don’t Understand
Empathy is different from sympathy in saying, “I don’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I can imagine how you must feel.”
This can go a long way in helping your children feel seen and build a deeper connection with you. It’s a sure way of letting them know that no matter what they’re going through, you are always available. Whether you understand them or not, being empathetic lets them know you genuinely care.
Let Them Know God Sees, Hears, and Loves Them
The most important thing a parent can do is let their children know God sees them, hears them, and loves them. By regularly reminding them of this, you’re assuring them there is a God who sees.
In fact, it was Hagar in the Bible who said, “You are the God who sees me…I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13) If you’re familiar with this Old Testament account, you know that Hagar was Sarah’s maidservant who had been given to Abraham to produce an heir. The situation became worse when Sarah mistreated Hagar, causing her to flee to the desert. God reached out to Hagar at her lowest moment and said comforting words to her. It was then that she gave Him the name, “The God who sees.” Consider sharing this Bible story with your children and following it with the reminder that God sees, hears, and loves them, too. Point out the ways in which God has blessed them and wants to be in a relationship with them.
Encourage your children to establish a daily prayer habit, talk with God, and develop a relationship with Him. How important it is to let our children know that the Lord knows them and sees them!
