Michelle S. Lazurek
1. Commitment
Whether you got married in a courthouse or a church, you made a vow before God to commit yourself wholeheartedly to your spouse. When you place a wedding ring on your finger, you show the outside world that you’re dedicated to your spouse. Even through difficult times, your commitment to God must be at the forefront of your marriage. Knowing this is part of God’s overall destiny for your life will help you honor your commitments, even when it’s difficult. The marriage relationship mirrors Christ in the church. It can be messy at times, but marriage helps purify us and makes us the spotless bride he desires for his church when he returns. One of the ways we keep ourselves blameless before him is if we honor our commitment to our marriage.
2. Communication
Imagine claiming you were a Christian. You went to church, served on committees, and helped out in your community. But you never spoke to, thought of, or communicated with God the other six days of the week. What type of relationship would you have? Yet, that is the nature of some of your relationships with God. He desires an intimate connection with us. He never forces his will on us because he wants us to want to be with him.
It’s the same in marriage. What type of relationship would you have if you went weeks without speaking to each other? A marriage cannot survive without good communication. This means going deeper than just surface-level communication. We need to talk about emotional needs, deep wounds, and other issues that may come between us. Conflict may arise when this happens, but when you are committed to your marriage, you can be assured that you will always work things out.
3. Forgiveness
People in this world will let you down. This is especially true for your spouse. In our humanity, we often put our own needs ahead of our spouses, causing hurt and betrayal. Yet, you must be quick to forgive one another when your spouse hurts you. God says when we forgive others, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. More than likely, we’ve committed the same sins against our spouse that they have committed against us. When we see our marriage relationship from that perspective, it is easier to forgive and let it go than to hold a grudge. Be quick to forgive your spouse when they hurt you. Although some offenses may be harder to forgive or take longer, we are all called to forgive each and every wrong committed against us. Jesus tells us we must forgive others repeatedly even when we don’t feel they deserve it. Ask God to help you forgive if forgiving on your own proves too difficult. It not only improves your marriage relationship but also frees you from the emotional and spiritual bondage that holding onto that offense may cause you.
4. Love
While it sounds simplistic, love is the ultimate glue that holds a marriage together. Make no mistake: love is more than just a feeling. When the butterflies we had when we first started dating may have gone away, the beauty of love is that it goes grows deeper with each passing year. The intimacy we gained from knowing each other and living together regularly cannot be replicated in any other relationship. Therefore, it is one of the hardest relationships to maintain because as our intimacy deepens, we readily see each other’s flaws and weaknesses. In our flesh, it will be easy to capitalize on those flaws and weaknesses to make ourselves feel superior. But that is not loving our spouse the way God intended. Instead, he wants us to love our spouse the way we love him. Although we may mess up from time to time, the more we learn from our mistakes and love each other with fewer conditions, the more fulfilling our relationship will be and the godlier followers we will become.
