Jennifer Waddle
The word lavish describes a love that is rich and abundant. It isn’t a word we use often—especially in marriage—but it paints a picture of extravagant love.
I know that most of us are too busy to put extra work or time into our relationships. But what if lavish love was less about work and more about living in the overflow? God’s overflow of love—in us—is like a fountain that never runs dry. And when we allow His love to flow through us, loving our spouses lavishly not only becomes a possibility, it becomes a way of life.
Here’s how to lavishly love your spouse:
1. Fancy Them Again
Remember the honeymoon phase of marriage when you “fancied” your spouse? This British word for “attraction” isn’t one we typically use to describe our feelings, but it reminds us that we were once enamored with our spouses.
Lavish love is willing to revisit the early days, remember the vows that were made, and rekindle the passion you once shared. If your feelings have changed over the years, pray and ask God to fill you with a renewed sense of love and commitment.
Here are a few practical ways to fancy your spouse again:
· Let them know they still cause your heart to beat a little faster when they enter the room.
· Reminisce about past romantic getaways.
· Assure them you only have eyes for them, and you love being married to them.
2. Invest in Their Emotional Treasury
Emotions are part of our God-given design, yet we tend to stifle them, ignore them, and even deny them. In marriage, both men and women have emotional wells that need filling up. While only Christ can fill the need for salvation, husbands and wives can help fill each other’s emotional needs. Here’s how:
Offer words of affirmation.
Words of affirmation are listed as one of the love languages according to author Gary Chapman. But whether words of affirmation are your personal love language or not, everyone appreciates sincere compliments and positive expressions of love.
Thank them.
Everyone wants to be appreciated. Look for opportunities to thank your spouse and let them know how much you appreciate their efforts.
Validate them.
Many husbands and wives do not feel validated by their spouses. Instead, they feel ignored or even dismissed. Validating your spouse requires you to listen to them and acknowledge what they’re saying. It means that even when you don’t agree, you still affirm their wonderful qualities.
3. Elaborate on Their Value
When you value something, you pay close attention to it. You care for it. You devote time and energy to protecting it. Lavishly loving your spouse includes elaborating on the value they bring to your relationship.
How is your spouse valuable to you? In what ways do they enrich your life? Have you let them know just how valuable they are?
Here are a few things you can do to elaborate on their value:
· Point out their strengths.
· Offer your undivided time and attention.
· Give them gifts “just because.”
4. Invest in What Matters Most
One of the best ways you can lavishly love your spouse is by investing in what matters most. What matters most to them? Is it time spent talking about life and faith? Is it doing things together and making memories? Whatever matters most in your marriage, invest in that.
Hopefully, you are both walking with the Lord and are on a spiritual journey together. If not, pray about ways you can invest in sharing the Gospel with your spouse and making sure they know what salvation means.
