Amanda Idleman
1. Committing Yourself to Pray for Your Marriage
Starting our days with prayer is one of the best ways to be reminded to live our day for Christ and not solely for our own gain.
(Galatians 2:20) says, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” These are words we can pray over our hearts and marriages. May God give us His heart for our partner. May God give us the strength to serve our spouse lovingly. May Christ be evident throughout our actions towards our husband or wife.
Daily, we need to humble ourselves before the Lord alone and alongside our spouse to ask God to help us serve each other with love each day!
2. Practice Communicating Often and Clearly with Your Spouse
Clear communication is essential, so we don’t overlook our family members’ needs. We can’t serve if we don’t know the needs of the ones we love. We only discover the needs of our spouses by asking them. When we assume we are helping without asking if what we are doing is helpful, we can miss out on doing what is really needed.
This happens a lot with my husband and me, mainly because both are very stubborn and independent. We want to feel like we are in charge of executing the best plan for the day and forget that we need to consult each other before making the plan.
Marriage takes work, and most of that works like being intentional about how we communicate with one another. We need to pause long enough to truly hear and see our spouse amid the craziness of life. It’s important that we talk before we act so we can stay on the same team, no matter the situation.
3. Consider What Love Looks Like for Each Situation
Dying to self looks like continuously asking, “What is the most loving thing to do in this situation?” When we operate from a place of love, God best shines through our lives. Consequently, that is when we are the best spouses too!
God encourages us not to grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9). Marriage is a long road, and it is easy to get weary of each other. We combat that weariness by investing in ourselves so we don’t get so burnt out that we don’t have space to love our partners well. We can’t ask what the most loving thing is when we are living moment by moment, barely hanging on ourselves. Dying to ourselves is not the same as neglecting ourselves. We love best from a place of abundance.
Being able to ask what love looks like means we have to make sure we are putting effort to stay in love with our spouse. It’s so much easier to give of ourselves from a genuine place of affection than from a place of doing it because we should. Staying in love as a couple looks like committing to spend time together, laughing together, being intimate with one another, sharing openly with one another, and doing things that keep you connected. As the years add up and the responsibilities grow, staying in love as a married couple can get increasingly challenging, but it is not impossible!
