Karen Whiting
Routines and Rituals
predictable routines foster healthier and better-behaved children. They fall asleep sooner and sleep better. They feel a sense of security and belonging when parents provide such consistent care.
Such repeated patterns in early life become the first building block of lasting relationships. Nighttime may start with brushing teeth and piggyback rides to bed and end with a story and goodnight kiss. A song or exchange of familiar phrases that engage children will add to the bonding.
A few words like “It’s bedtime” become prompts to transition into routines. Routines provide security and comfort with the repeating of a predictable cycle as part of the sense of belonging. Healthy routines such as brushing teeth instill good family habits.
Weekly routines such as attending church and a family movie night also provide familiar experiences that connect us to community.
Laughter and Play
A study conducted by Concordia University affirms the old adage that a family that plays together stays together. Recreation is a glue that also binds generations.
This may include grandparents sharing hobbies of gardening or woodworking with grandchildren to grow or build something for the middle generation. When we laugh as we play, from sharing in imaginary tea parties to board games and family sports, we create happy memories. Core activities of simple everyday play of games and backyard fun cost little.
Play can be simple such as blowing bubbles and giggling together or extending the bubble blowing into a game of bubble tag. Children embrace the play easily and their natural joy engages adults to laugh with them. I tuck in bubbles and various gadgets to make different bubbles for activities with grandchildren. We remember and laugh about bubble months later in phone conversations.
Family leisure fosters better behavior; reduces the chance of children choosing dangerous activities as they hit teen years; and usually increases school performance. Play also lowers stress hormones that helps everyone get along; a key to wanting to enjoy a future together.
Disaster Recovery
Going through a tragedy or natural disaster together builds a team spirit that helps family members trust they will get through future difficulties too. This strengthens the individuals and the family ties as they pull themselves together, appreciate their blessings, and proceed to clean debris and start the recovery process. Looking back it’s easier to laugh and chat about those hard times and realize you supported one another and succeeded.
These shared experiences that involve trauma provide opportunities to share emotions, teach children to adapt and be resilient, and trust God as a family while working through repairs and restoring home life. Facing and overcoming challenges helps families become more compassionate that often inspires families to reach out and help other families in need.
Heritage and Family Stories
Heritage builds a sense of family identity. A study by San Francisco State University revealed that sharing the lifestyle and sharing more about family ethnic background into the adult years continues to build that sense of identity. Sharing stories, foods, and customs enriches the family and connects them. This promotes adopting family values among individuals family members.
Each family story a thread woven into the tapestry of our family that also gives us a sense of belonging. These stories may depict unique and colorful relatives, ancestors who struggled and learned lessons or met goals that encourage us follow our dreams and embrace our uniqueness within the family.
Learning what shaped parents and gave them courage to work hard to build bridges of understanding. Letters, heirlooms, and recordings add authenticity that preserves the family identity.
