·Sarah Hamaker
Discipline Tip #1: Do what you can when you can.
We often make mistakes as parents when we rush into punishment in the heat of anger or frustration. This is when we’re likely to say things like, “You’re grounded until you turn 18” to our kindergartner.
Except with a two or three-year-old, we don’t have to punish our child for doing the wrong thing immediately. We can wait until we’ve calmed down, returned home, the next morning if it happens before bed, etc. Use the time to think carefully about what punishment should be given for the infraction.
Discipline Tip #2: Never threaten—simply deliver.
Save yourself time and effort by stopping with the threats. Your children do not need warnings to straighten up—they need consequences for when they step out of line. Parents who no longer threaten will often find their children will shape up quicker than those who deliver threats instead of discipline.
Discipline Tip #3: Mean what you say and say what you mean.
My kids know if I tell them to do something, they’d better do it because I mean what I say, and I only say what I mean. There’s no guesswork for them to know if Mom’s serious this time or not. You’ll save yourself a lot of hassle in the long run if you mean what you say and say what you mean.
Discipline Tip #4: Know your children.
For consequences to be effective, we must know what our children enjoy. What makes them smile? Brings them joy? What do they spend their free time doing? What afterschool activities do they do? These things will be fodder for effective discipline, which I’ll explain in tip #6.
Discipline Tip #5: Be willing to make your child unhappy.
It’s hard when our kids are unhappy, isn’t it? But in order to guide them into becoming civilized members of society, we have to be willing to make them unhappy at times. Here’s how it relates to discipline. When our oldest (now a college freshman) was in fifth grade, one of her daily chores was to refresh the cats’ water dish. However, despite having plenty of time in her morning routine to do this, she consistently “forgot.”
Tired of nagging (and tired of seeing the cats go thirsty some days), I thought about what made her happy. When she came home from school, there was a 30-day chart on the fridge with her name on it. Naturally, she asked me what that was for, to which I replied, “I’m glad you asked! If you refill the cats’ water for 30 straight days without prompting, you’ll get your books back.” A shocked silence followed, then wails of dismay as she realized I was taking away one of her favorite activities—reading—and making her decidedly unhappy in the short term to motivate her to “remember” this daily chore. I am happy to report that she didn’t miss one of those 30 days or any days that followed.
Discipline Tip #6: End every discipline session with love.
If you get nothing else from this article, I hope you’ll leave with this—every time we have to correct our kids, we should remind them of our love. They won’t always be receptive in the moment, but it’s important they hear those words from us. I also remind my kids one of the ways I show them love is by disciplining them. In other words, I love them too much to let them continue on the path that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13).
من أحلى المقالات اللي قرأتها عن تأديب الأطفال بطرق سليمة وعملية وكمان كتابية تبني الولاد.
