Lane Jordan Burday
1. Touch Them.
Yep, another simple tip. But wait. When was the last time you touched him/her? And I’m not talking about what goes on between the sheets but when was the last time you touched just to touch? I will tell you that one touch will go a very long way in keeping you connected. How? Because we need to be loved and touched by other people.
Just because you may have sex sometime today or this week isn’t the issue. It’s reaching out when he gets home from work and giving a hug and a kiss. It’s giving a kiss when you see each other in the morning and maybe a hug too. It’s walking by his chair and touching the back of his shoulder or head with a soft touch. You don’t even have to say anything, but he will feel so loved.
2. Be Kind.
Wow, that sounds so simple doesn’t it? But think about it. Being kind means not losing your temper. Not saying rude or critical remarks. Not putting your spouse down in front of others. Speaking kind words with a kind tone of voice. Understanding when they are tired, over worked. Doing their chores when they are too busy or tired. Affirming them to the children. Asking what they would like to do on their day off or where to go to dinner. Being kind enough to listen when they talk and engage with the conversation.
Yes, we need to just be kind to our spouse and do for them.
3. Say Thank You.
I know some people think words are unimportant. But they are important, very important. In fact, God created the world and us with just His Words! So, when was the last time you said, “Thank you” to your spouse?
Well, you say, they are supposed to go to work or clean the house or take care of the kids or help with the check book – why should I say thank you to something they have to do anyway? Because when we say the magical words, Thank You, we are actually saying, “I respect you. I appreciate you and what you are giving of yourself to me and our life and our future. I see you and I want you to know that I see you and love all you do.” Say thank you to your spouse for working so hard, for giving you the free time you need for your hobby, for all he/she does for the family.
4. Be Present.
This means to be in the now, looking at their eyes as your talk. Yes, we try to be present when we are on a ‘date’. But each day, it means putting down the cell phone, the laptop, the newspaper or novel, turning the TV off or on mute. It means to ask about their day, what’s going on this week, how are the kids doing, how are your parents doing, when can we have some time together today? On a work day, most spouses only have a few hours they can spend together: from when they get home from work till bedtime. So take advantage of these few hours by being present.
