Heidi Vegh
1. Pray WITH and FOR Them
In the Bible, we learn that we have an enemy who wants to steal our joy and fill us with fear. The most important thing we can do for our spouses is praying with them and for them, rebuking the attacks of the enemy. We read in (John 10:10) “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”
We have the power of Jesus, who equips us to combat the enemy with prayer and speaking out truths from the Word. Although spiritual attacks are not the sole source of anxiety, it will do you well to start there. Pray against the enemy and rebuke him from the life of your spouse. Pray for peace over them and help them to realize that God doesn’t want us to live an anxious life but a life full of abundant joy.
2: Listen Without Giving Advice
Although their fears may seem irrational to you, when someone suffers from anxiety, they are very real to them. They don’t need you to explain them out of fear, but they do want to be heard. It is not your job to fix them but to support and listen. Telling your spouse that their fear is irrational or crazy will only make them feel more isolated in their anxiety. Dismissing their worries and not walking alongside them will create more tension and division in the marriage. You are a team. Pray for God to give you empathy for your spouse instead of allowing annoyance or ignorance to take root in your heart. Let them know you aren’t going anywhere; you are in this together. It may be impossible for you to feel exactly what they feel, but you can be there with open arms and open ears.
3: Help Them Find Physical Cause and Solutions
There are different causes for anxiety, and sometimes it is a physical one. I have experienced this in my life. I have found that if I am low in iron, it can cause chest tightness, leading to anxiety. Perhaps, they are drinking too much caffeine or eating too much sugar. Suggest they visit their doctor to determine what they might be doing in their lifestyle that may cause anxiety. Perhaps, a naturopath can suggest some calming herbs to take the edge off, such as GABA, lavender, or chamomile. Diffusing calming oils in the bedroom or taking a melatonin bath can do wonders for an anxious mind. I think there is a time and place for medication when needed, but instead of going down that road first, have them do some digging to find out what they can be doing differently. Perhaps suggest they talk to a therapist to help them rationalize or understand why they are anxious.
4. Help to Reduce Stress in Their Life
Anxiety can be exaggerated by stress. Try to combat their anxious moments by helping them narrow down what stresses them out, such as housework, childcare, etc., and do your best to lessen the stress for them. Set aside time to do things that will help them feel calm, give them a break from the mundane or help them with extra chores around the house. Instead of getting irritated when they are irritable or frustrated, put your energy into helping stabilize the home’s environment. Ask them to try and figure out what triggers their anxiety and do your best to accommodate. They will be less anxious if they know that they can be loved, cherished, cared for, and taken seriously even in their most anxious state.
